So… What Happened???

It's been a little over two months since my last post and I'm thinking some of you MIGHT be wondering where I've been and what has happened since then.  I've actually been asked by a few of you how you got disconnected from the blog, that you wondered why you aren't getting my posts anymore.  No, it's not you, nor is it your email or computer.  I've haven't posted in over 2 months.

A lot has happened since my last post, the one I wrote about my upcoming adventure at The Ragnar Relay in Cape Cod.  I won't get into details here.  No need to bore you all, although I'm more than happy to share my story with anyone who asks.  It's one of those awesome God things!

I will share a few bits though.  I will say that my weekend at Ragnar is one I will never ever forget.  Aside from the fact that 12 women dug deep to run every single mile of that 200 mile relay, aside from the physicality of it all, that weekend was a life changer for me.  That was the weekend God broke me. It was the weekend He exposed me for who I was becoming, for the fraud and imposter that I saw looking back at me in the mirror.

In the two months since, God has humbled me in more ways that I can tell.  He has stripped me of a lot, but in return has given me a million times more.  My heart was broken, but then mended back together with His love.  His purposes, His plans.  And through it all, I was blessed to lean on my amazing husband and my three awesome little goofballs.  

And as I now wake daily to learn more about His plans, I am AMAZED (I cannot express enough how AMAZED I am) at how he is slowly but surely weaving all these heartaches, all of my life's passions (I'm talking decades worth!) together for His amazing purposes.  I am very slowly beginning to see the pieces falling together- my life's work, my passions in life, my children and family, my insecurities, even (and especially) the mistakes I've made (I love how He uses ALL things for good) for His purposes.  It's as if it was all for a reason.  Yeah… I believe it is…

So now that I've bored you enough, I will leave you with a few takeaways:

* Ragnar was amazing and unforgettable- for so many different reasons than I expected, but truly life changing.

* God's timing has been PERFECT as He has been teaching me through the long and lazy days of summer why He broke me at Ragnar, and what He wants to use me for.

* My portraiture is a part of His plan, along with my years spent teaching high school, my years of playing and coaching young women, my role as a mother (particularly to my precious girl), my life long insecurities, my mistakes, and my love for writing, encouraging and connecting.

* There is much much more to pray on, and meditate on, to wait on and to act on.  God will reveal His timing.

* The root of all of this is based on 1 Peter 3:3-4

                      Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God's sight.

For those of you who are still reading, I appreciate your hanging with me.  For those of you who are praying women, I ask for your prayers as I desire to move forward with this project and do God's will.  And for those who are interested in knowing more, stay tuned!  New things are coming!

Keep smiling!

Jen

Cawfee Tawk Tuesday: Contemplating Why

Happy Tuesday. This week I've decided to take Cawfee Tawk in yet another direction. Over the past few weeks and months I have heard way too many stories of lives being altered over illnesses, particularly cancer. This week alone I heard about another friend of mine who seems too young to be facing the difficult road before her due to her cancer diagnosis, as well as a precious little boy named Trey Love who is fighting for his life against neuroblastoma. And then there's my own father who faces the possibility (and probability) that his own cancer has returned.

But it's not just cancer, and it's not just tragedy. It's the whole idea of life. Life is a vapor. It goes so fast. We wait for what seems like forever for our special day, our graduation, our wedding day, our little one's due date, and then we blink and those days are behind us, our kids are growing up, and we are wondering where it all went. One minute we are looking ahead to a road of endless possibilities, the next we are looking back at the precious moments that are now just memories. One minute we're taking our first step down the aisle towards our soulmate, the next we're celebrating decades of marriage and a house full of rambunctious children.

I know there are a few of you out there who read this blog and enjoy seeing these images, but rarely, if ever, pick up a camera yourself. This blog post is for you. Don't wait until you feel comfortable with your camera. Don't wait until you have a good reason to shoot, or a special event. Today is that special event, that special reason. Today is another day with those amazing friends, those precious babies (even if their 16 or 46!), and today is another day with him, with her. What could be more precious than that?

So this post is simply a celebration of all the reasons to get out and shoot. Some moments are huge. Some are wonderfully mundane. But all are precious.

So shoot because they're in love and you're so happy for them.

Shoot because you've never seen anything more precious than the way he cherishes his little girl.

Shoot because they're two of the loves of your life- your father and your son- and they love being together.

Shoot because true love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:7)

Shoot because no matter how old he is and how old you are, he's always daddy, and you're always his little girl.

Shoot because it's today and they're here and they're happy, and so you are too.

Shoot because for this fleeting moment, they're not bickering, not crying, just being big bro and little sis.

Shoot because they love their momma and she's all they need, and nothing makes her happier than caring for them.

Shoot because today they walk, arm in arm, into their promising futures, even if just yesterday...

... they were your little boys, just learning to walk together.

This week's homework is simply twofold:

1. Get your camera and shoot. Who cares if you don't get all the settings on your camera, or the lighting isn't perfect. If the moment is, that's all that matters right now.

2. Cherish each other. I'm sure ALL of you can relate to the fact that life is just a vapor and a gift, and we need to savor every second of if.

I'm off to go hug my kids. Sending you hugs as well.

Thanks for reading, and happy shooting

Jen

(Spring is here which means sessions are budding along with the flowers. Since my days are now filling up with sessions and editing, I'm probably going to need to scale back on the Cawfee Tawk. Look for Cawfee Tawk Tuesdays every other Tuesday or every third Tuesday. I'll do my best!)